Remembering Lolly

by Eileen Mier

In March of 1959, my husband Hank, our daughters Maureen and Eileen, and I embarked on The Big American Dream -- a house in the suburbs.

We lived in Brookfield, Wisconsin, but my husband's parents had moved to Arizona, and he wanted to move there, too. I balked at leaving my family and friends, but after a winter with two toddlers, and snow up to the window sills, I thought I was ready to try the warm climate.

Hank was a printer as was his father, and his dad told him there was an opening at the plant where he worked. So, we decided to move and put our house up for sale. We had Mom and Pop Mier scout a house for us in Arizona, but when we got here, we didn't like it. The same builder, John F. Long, had some new models that we liked better. We moved into our new house on March 19, 1959, after traveling with a U-Haul trailer from Wisconsin to Glendale, Arizona.

Shortly after moving in, I met Lolly through the children. We became fast friends and in later years very close, closer than sisters. We both were from the Midwest, Lolly from Chicago and me from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but more than that we were leading similar lives as housewives with children. We met another neighbor, Jane Bowers, who was a California girl, and our friendship expanded.

We could have our nights out shopping or to the movies. Lolly and I also did work for the Democratic Party, canvassing the neighborhood for new voters to register, and working for candidates, particularly for John F. Kennedy in his Presidential campaign. We went to precinct meetings and did volunteer work. It was fun as we met a lot of people! Our first big collaboration.

On election night 1960, after the children and some husbands, I think mine and Lolly's, were in bed, we had a little party. Jane and Harold at that time were staunch Republicans and at about 11:15 p.m. Harold was bragging that Nixon was winning. As he was bragging, Lolly hit him with a beer bottle! It didn't hurt him, but it did break up the party. Victory was so much better after the wait.

Lolly and I had many interests alike -- fashion, reading, and just friendship. We went to the library often, taking the children, and having a picnic lunch in the little square park. We helped each other with the children's illnesses and baby-sitting. It's hard to express my feelings for Lolly and Jane, too. We certainly were the best of friends and did so many things together. One thing I admired about Lolly is she had so much more patience with the children than I did. She taught them all to swim after she and Gene put in a backyard pool.

Of course, much of our time was spent as housewives and mothers. We went through some pregnancies together also. We always tried to be there for each other in case of trouble and we had our share. We also did most of our shopping together, being very interested in fashions. We didn't have a lot of money to spend on them, of course, with our family obligations.

Then, our dear friend got breast cancer. She had the surgery and chemotherapy and radiation, and did seem to get over it. When Gene changed jobs, the Cook family moved to Escondido. Of course, we still stayed in touch. Hank and I drove our RV from Arizona to California to visit, too.

Then the cancer came back and, though she was a good fighter, Lolly lost the battle. Such a tragedy for family and friends.

* Writing this tribute to my mother was one of the last things Eileen did. I received this in a letter on 1 March 1998. She died 25 February 1998.